Sunday, January 31, 2016

The desire to die..

.. is returning, and after months of not smoking, I have re-started. I don't have a reason in my life to do otherwise, only a dream that I might be able to find a corner someplace where I can curl up with 'my love, my lover'.

I have a nephew who looks up to me for my strength. Maybe one day soon, I will let him see this blog, and he will stop seeing me as the ultimate tower of strength, and find his own course and cause. For now, I will try to support him as best I can even though I am struggling to support myself..

There is also a grand-daughter who looks up to me. She is absolutely the best, and will find her way without me, will have to do that.

I wish them all the best.. now and forever.. 

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